Creating Symbiotic Systems: The Radical Act of Being Yourself in Business

Last weekend, I exposed the parasitic patterns draining our businesses and souls. Today, I want to show you what's possible when you choose a different path.

But first, a warning: This will require you to do the one thing business told you never to do.

Be yourself. Completely. Unapologetically. Even when it's bad for business.

Especially then.

In nature, symbiosis is simple: Both organisms act according to their nature, and both thrive.

The bee doesn't pretend to be a butterfly. The flower doesn't try to be a tree. They show up as themselves, and magic happens.

But in business? We've created a world where everyone's pretending to be something they're not.

• The introvert pretending to be a social butterfly

• The creative pretending to be a spreadsheet wizard

• The visionary pretending to care about the details

• The human being pretending to be a machine

No wonder we're exhausted. Pretending is parasitic to your soul.

Kevin’s friend in Houston ran a photography business for years. Portraits, weddings, the usual. She was dying inside but paying the bills.

Then she felt called to something different: Photographing people as they actually are. No masks. No pretense. Just truth.

But here's where it gets interesting...

She marketed this authentic photography while still wearing her own mask. "Like me!" her marketing screamed. "Need me!" her energy begged.

Kevin finally asked her: "You're telling people to be themselves while you're still hiding. How's that working?"

Two weeks later, she dropped the mask. Started showing up online as herself – messy, real, sometimes struggling.

Guess what happened? People started hiring her. The right people.

Here's what nobody tells you about acting according to your nature:

1. It's not always profitable (at first). Some seasons you bloom. Some seasons you're dormant. That's natural. But we've been taught that anything less than constant growth is death.

2. It's not always popular. When you stop shapeshifting to please everyone, some people will leave. Good. They were attracted to your performance, not your essence.

3. It's not always comfortable. Being yourself after years of pretending feels naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. Like a hermit crab between shells.

4. It IS always sustainable. Because you're not burning energy maintaining a facade. You're just... being.

It might seem impossible. In a parasitic system, symbiosis looks like insanity:

• "You want me to show up as myself? But what if they don't like me?"

• "You want me to work according to my natural rhythms? But what about productivity?"

• "You want me to be honest about my limitations? But what about my reputation?"

• "You want me to say no to money that doesn't align? But what about my bills?"

Every question reveals the same fear: What if being myself isn't enough?

In mechanical systems, friction destroys. So we add oil to engines.

In human systems, friction is inevitable. We're different. We have edges. We bump into each other.

What’s the oil? Love.

Not the greeting card kind. The real kind:

• Seeing people as they are, not as you need them to be

• Accepting imperfection without trying to fix it

• Creating space for everyone to be human

• Choosing connection over control

Love makes symbiosis possible. Control makes it impossible.

Here’s what symbiosis actually looks like.

Instead of: "How can I get you to buy?"
Try: "Is this genuinely helpful for you?"

Instead of: "How can I maximize extraction?"
Try: "How can we both thrive?"

Instead of: "What do they want me to be?"
Try: "What happens when I show up as myself?"

Instead of: "How can I scale infinitely?"
Try: "What's the right size for my nature?"

When I visited Switzerland, I marveled at their trains. Perfect timing. Flawless execution. Swiss-watch precision.

Then it hit me: What pressure must those operators feel? What stress to maintain perfection?

Perfectionism mandates a scapegoat. When things must be perfect, someone must be blamed when they're not.

Symbiosis says: We're human. Trains might be late. People might make mistakes. Can we build systems that account for humanity instead of denying it?

I’ve been focused on building my own symbiotic system—everything in my business built based on what works for me.

You get to do the same. Here are some simple ways to start building that system.

1. Start with self-knowledge.

• What energizes you?

• What depletes you?

• What's your natural rhythm?

• What are you pretending about?

2. Design around your nature, not despite it.

• Introvert? Build a business that doesn't require constant networking

• Night owl? Stop forcing 5 AM productivity

• Big picture thinker? Partner with detail people instead of pretending

• Highly sensitive? Create buffers and boundaries

3. Attract through authenticity. When you show up as yourself, you repel the wrong people and magnetize the right ones. This is feature, not bug.

4. Choose partners who complement, not compete. Symbiosis isn't about finding identical people. It's about finding people whose nature complements yours.

5. Make space for seasons. Sometimes you're in massive growth. Sometimes you're in restoration. Both are necessary. Neither is failure.

All this comes at a cost. Make no mistake: Choosing symbiosis in a parasitic world takes tremendous courage.

You'll have to:

• Disappoint people who profited from your pretending

• Say no to "opportunities" that require self-betrayal

• Risk being seen as "unprofessional" or "not serious"

• Trust that being yourself is enough

• Believe there's another way, even when you can't see it yet

Three years ago, I stopped pretending I was a machine. Started admitting:

• I have energy cycles

• I can't be "on" all the time

• I work best in deep partnership, not isolation

• I care more about transformation than transaction

• I'd rather have 10 deep relationships than 1000 shallow ones

Did I lose clients? Yes. Did revenue drop initially? Yes. Did people think I'd lost my mind? Absolutely.

Did I find my people? YES. Did work become sustainable? YES. Did success become satisfying? FINALLY.

Here's what's wild: When you stop trying to be everything to everyone, you become everything to someone.

When you stop extracting, you start creating.

When you stop performing, you start serving.

When you stop pretending, you start succeeding in ways that actually matter.

Are you scared?

Of course you are. We all are!

We've been taught that being ourselves is risky. That we need to be more, better, different to deserve success.

But what if the risk isn't in being yourself?

What if the real risk is spending another year, another decade, another lifetime pretending?

This week, try one small experiment in being yourself:

1. In one meeting, say what you really think

2. With one client, admit a limitation

3. In one decision, choose alignment over income

4. For one day, work according to your natural rhythm

5. With one person, drop the professional mask

Notice what happens. Not just externally – internally.

Notice how much energy you save when you stop pretending.

I believe business is at a turning point. The old parasitic models are dying. People are hungry for something real.

The future belongs to those brave enough to:

• Build businesses that honor humanity

• Create success without exploitation

• Choose symbiosis over parasitism

• Be themselves, even when it's inconvenient

Especially when it's inconvenient.

P.S. This post was inspired by a conversation with Kevin Kridner. It’s as much his work as mine.

P.S.S. Some of favorite consulting has come from helping business owners build symbiotic systems for themselves. It’s amazing what happens when owners show up at work to a place that feels as comfortable as home.