Parasitic Patterns: The Hidden Vampire in Your Business Relationships

I need to share something that might fundamentally change how you view every business relationship you have.

It started with a conversation about Amazon. A colleague mentioned that Jeff Bezos said he "learned to live in the desert" – to become so comfortable with chaos and scarcity that it became his home.

That's when it hit me: He didn't learn to thrive. He learned to survive on less while taking more.

And that, my friend, is the perfect metaphor for parasitic business relationships.

Many business relationships aren't symbiotic. They're parasitic.

One party is feeding off the other, draining resources, energy, and life force while giving back just enough to keep the host from dying.

The worst part? We've been trained to see this as normal. Even admirable.

Ever wonder why so many "successful" people feel dead inside? They've won the game. Hit the numbers. Built the empire. And yet...

• They're exhausted but can't rest

• They're surrounded by people but feel alone

• They have everything but enjoy nothing

• They've arrived but feel lost

Here's why: Parasitic success is always hungry.

It needs constant feeding. More deals. More growth. More extraction. Because parasites can never be satisfied – they can only consume.

It’s easy to spot these.

In Your Client Relationships:

• They pay you, but drain your soul

• Every interaction leaves you depleted

• You've become someone you don't recognize to keep them happy

• The money never feels worth it

• You need a vacation after every project

In Your Team Dynamics:

• People only engage when they need something

• There's no energy exchange, only energy extraction

• Everyone's protecting their turf

• Collaboration feels like negotiation

• People quit internally long before they leave

In Your Partnerships:

• It's all take, no give

• Success is measured only in what you can extract

• Trust is replaced by contracts

• Every interaction feels transactional

• You're always watching your back

Here's how we justify it:

• "It's just business."

• "That's how the game is played."

• "I'm providing value." (While dying inside)

• "They're paying me well." (As if money could replace your soul)

• "Everyone does it this way."

But what if everyone is wrong?

Parasitic relationships have a cost.

1. It Spreads. Once you accept parasitic relationships in one area, they metastasize everywhere. Your business model becomes extraction. Your leadership style becomes manipulation. Your success strategy becomes "take more than you give."

2. It Hollows You Out. You can build an empire on parasitic relationships. But you'll be a ghost haunting your own success. Empty. Depleted. Wondering why nothing satisfies.

3. It Attracts More Parasites. Like attracts like. When you operate parasitically, you attract others doing the same. Soon, everyone's feeding off everyone else, and nobody's actually creating anything.

And we justify it all through the transaction.

We've been sold this lie: If money changes hands, it's fair.

"I'm paying you well, so it's okay that I:

• Disrespect your boundaries

• Demand your soul along with your services

• Treat you as less than human

• Extract every ounce of value I can"

Money doesn't balance parasitism. It just makes it socially acceptable. Parasitic relationships often start as our biggest opportunities:

• The client who pays 3x your normal rate

• The partnership that promises massive growth

• The opportunity that could "change everything"

• The mentor who says they'll fast-track your success

They dangle the carrot. We bite. And before we know it, we're hooked.

For me, it came at 4 PM on a Tuesday. I was working on a project for a client who paid well but treated me like a vending machine. Insert money, get output.

That's when I understood: Success without symbiosis is just slow suicide.

The money was good. The work was "successful." And I was dying.

And parasitic relationships aren’t just feeding on your time or energy. They're feeding on:

• Your creativity

• Your passion

• Your uniqueness

• Your humanity

• Your capacity for joy

• Your ability to trust

• Your sense of self

They're not just taking what you do. They're consuming who you are. Here's the most insidious part: Parasitic relationships can become addictive.

The drama. The intensity. The constant crisis. The adrenaline of extraction and survival.

It feels like productivity. Like importance. Like purpose.

But it's not. It's just addiction dressed up in a business suit.

And when you've built your business on parasitic relationships, breaking free feels impossible:

• "I need these clients"

• "This is my biggest revenue source"

• "I can't afford to change"

• "This is just how business works"

But here's what I learned: You can't afford NOT to change.

Because every day you stay in parasitic relationships, you're trading your life force for money. And there's not enough money in the world to buy it back.

The first step is simple: Recognition. Just seeing it for what it is.

Not judging. Not immediately trying to fix. Just seeing.

• Which relationships drain you?

• Where are you draining others?

• What are you really exchanging?

• Is it sustainable? (Hint: Parasitism never is)

Then, it’s the choice to move forward.

When I finally started saying no to parasitic relationships, something amazing happened:

Space opened up for symbiotic ones.

Clients who energized rather than drained. Partners who gave as much as they took. Team members who brought life, not just labor.

Less money at first? Yes. More life? Absolutely.

This week, I invite you to take inventory:

1. After interacting with each person in your business, ask:

   • Do I feel energized or drained?

   • Did we both give and receive?

   • Would I do this for free? (Not that you should, but would you?)
     

2. Look at your business model:

   • Are you creating value or extracting it?

   • Are your clients better off, or just lighter in the wallet?

   • Is your success dependent on someone else's depletion?
     

3. Check your own patterns:

   • Where am I being parasitic?

   • What am I taking without giving?

   • Who am I using rather than serving?

We have all been parasites at some time. We have all hosted them at some time.

This isn't about shame. It's about awakening. It’s about reckoning with the truth. And once you face it, you have to choose:

Continue the pattern? Or create something new?

P.S. My weekend posts are inspired by conversations with Kevin Kridner. They are as much his work as they are mine.