The Glass-Shattering Event: When Your World Stops Making Sense

Have you ever had one of those moments where reality hits you like a freight train? Where everything you thought you knew about yourself, your business, or your life suddenly doesn't work anymore?

I call these glass-shattering events.

Maybe it was the business partnership that imploded. The diagnosis that changed everything. The tragic death of a loved one. The marriage that crumbles apart. Or that moment when you realized the thing you'd been building for years was actually killing you slowly.

Mine happened in January 2019 when my leadership role at my church came to an abrupt end because of irreconcilable differences.

Here's what nobody tells you about these moments: When the glass shatters, we immediately go into repair mode. We think:

• If I just work harder...

• If I can find the right strategy...

• If I hire the right coach...

• If I read one more book...

• If I can just get back to who I was before...

But here's the uncomfortable truth about glass-shattering events: You can't go back. The bridges are burned. There's only forward.

The person you were before? He or she is gone. And trying to resurrect them is like trying to put shattered glass back together with your bare hands – you'll only cut yourself deeper.

When everything falls apart, you have two options:

Option 1: Stay in Denial. Keep trying to fix what's broken. Convince yourself this is temporary. Double down on what used to work. Become a victim of your circumstances.

Option 2: Face the Rubble. Admit this isn't working. Sit with the discomfort. Get curious about what's really happening. Start the journey of becoming someone new.

Most people choose Option 1. They spend years – sometimes decades – trying to rebuild what was never meant to last.

I spent 3 years trying to do that.

It didn’t work.

The real reason we stay stuck isn't because we don't know what to do. It's because healing requires something we're terrified to give:

Vulnerability.

To heal, you have to admit:

• You don't have it all together

• Your way isn't working

• You need help

• You might have been wrong

And in a world that rewards the "fake it till you make it" mentality, this feels like career suicide.

But here's what I've learned from those who’ve walked with hundreds of individuals through their glass-shattering moments:

The thing that feels like it's going to destroy you is actually trying to transform you.

One of the most insidious parts of a glass-shattering event is that it reveals something you couldn't see before: your dysfunction was socially acceptable.

• Your 80-hour weeks? That was called "dedication."

• Your need to control everything? "Leadership."

• Your inability to trust others? "High standards."

• Your workaholism? "Drive."

The glass had to shatter for you to see that what everyone applauded was actually destroying you from the inside.

After years of watching people navigate these moments, here's what we’ve seen actually work:

1. Stop trying to fix yourself. You're not a machine with broken parts. You're a human being in transformation.

2. Find someone who's been there. Not an armchair expert with theories, but someone with dirt under their fingernails from their own journey.

3. Get radically honest. The 100-proof truth, not the watered-down version you tell at networking events.

4. Give it time. Transformation doesn't happen on your timeline. The desert doesn't care about your quarterly goals.

Here’s the invitation.

If you're reading this and feeling that uncomfortable recognition – like I'm describing your life – here's what I want you to know:

You're not broken. You're breaking open.

There's a difference.

And on the other side of this glass-shattering event isn't just survival. It's a life you can't even imagine yet. One built on truth instead of pretense. On being instead of performing. On depth instead of facade.

But you have to be willing to let the old you die first.

Are you?

P.S. If you're in the middle of your own glass-shattering moment and tired of people telling you to "just be positive," you're not alone. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit you can't see the way forward. That's not weakness. That's the beginning of wisdom.

P.S.S.: This is the start of an ongoing series of weekend posts inspired by dozens of hours of conversations with Kevin Kridner.

What's your glass-shattering moment? I invite you to share — I read every response.