Why "Just One More" Is Killing You

We need to talk about something that might save your sanity. Maybe even your life.

It's about that voice in your head. The one that whispers "just one more."

Just one more:

• Sales call before you go home

• Deal before you can rest

• Achievement before you're enough

• Milestone before you've "made it"

• Fix before everything's okay

I’ve lived by that voice. It nearly destroyed me.

Here's a haunting story:

A man worked in sales. One Friday, exhausted after a brutal week, he was ready to go home. His boss said, "Just make one more sales call."

He did. Made a big sale. Got the dopamine hit. Learned the lesson: Push past your limits and good things happen.

Forty years later? His family barely knows him. His health is shot. His marriage is a shell. But hey, he's got great sales numbers.

When does "just one more" become too much?

When you've already given everything you have. That's when.

The "just one more" mentality is an addiction. And like any addiction, it's not really about what it looks like on the surface.

It's not about:

• The money

• The achievement

• The recognition

• The success

It's about avoiding something deeper. Something we're terrified to face.

When I faced my glass-shattering event — I had to face an uncomfortable truth:

"Just one more" was my way of avoiding the journey through.

Through what?

• Through the grief of what I'd lost

• Through the fear of who I was without my achievements

• Through the reality that I'd built my life on sand

• Through the admission that I didn't know how to just... be

Every "just one more" was another brick in the wall between me and what I actually needed to face.

Here's the thing about survival mode: It works. Until it doesn't.

When you're in the valley, when you've had your glass-shattering moment, survival mode kicks in. You think:

• If I just work harder...

• If I just push through...

• If I just ignore this feeling...

• If I just achieve this one thing...

And sometimes it works. You get the promotion. Close the deal. Save the relationship. For now.

But you're not healing. You're just building a more elaborate prison.

Far too many successful people wake up at 50, 60, 70 and realize they've been in survival mode for decades.

They've got everything they thought they wanted:

• The business

• The money

• The reputation

• The lifestyle

And they're empty. Because they never actually went THROUGH anything. They just went around it, over and over again, in increasingly elaborate circles.

Success became their way of avoiding transformation.

We love stories of people who "pushed through." The entrepreneur who slept in their car and built an empire. The athlete who played through injury and won the championship. The leader who sacrificed everything and saved the company.

But we don't hear the rest of the story:

• The entrepreneur who can't trust anyone now

• The athlete who can't walk at 40

• The leader whose kids don't speak to them

Pushing through isn't the same as going through.

Pushing through is violence. Going through is surrender.

Going through doesn't mean:

• Grinding harder

• Ignoring your limits

• Pushing past the pain

• Achieving your way out

Going through means:

• Feeling what you've been avoiding

• Admitting what isn't working

• Letting the old you die

• Trusting the process even when you can't see the outcome

It's not about doing more. It's about being present with what is.

If you're reading this thinking, "But I HAVE to push. I have responsibilities. People counting on me. Bills to pay."

I get it. I do.

But let me ask you something:

What's the cost of one more year in survival mode?

What's the cost to:

• Your health?

• Your relationships?

• Your soul?

• Your actual ability to serve those people counting on you?

At some point, the math stops working.

Here's what I’ve been learning the hard way: You can be productive without being destructive.

You can:

• Work without worshipping work

• Achieve without making achievement your identity

• Succeed without sacrificing your soul

• Lead without losing yourself

But first, you have to stop running. When I tried stopping the "just one more" madness, I had to face some uncomfortable questions:

1. What am I trying to prove? And to whom?

2. What am I afraid will happen if I stop? Really afraid?

3. Who would I be without my achievements? Do I even know?

4. What would "enough" look like? Have I ever defined it?

5. What am I avoiding by staying busy? What feelings, what truths?

I didn't like the answers. But seeking truth set me free.

Here's the crazy thing I found (and I’ve heard from many others): When I stopped pushing, I became more effective, not less.

When I stopped trying to achieve my way through the valley, I actually made progress.

When I stopped numbing with "just one more," I found what I was actually looking for.

Peace. Clarity. Purpose that wasn't dependent on outcomes.

If you're reading this feeling bone-tired, soul-tired, like you can't do "just one more" anything, here's what I want you to know:

Your exhaustion is not weakness. It's wisdom.

Your body is telling you what your mind won't admit: This isn't working.

Your soul is begging you to stop running and start facing.

Your life is asking you to choose: More of the same, or the courage to go through

• Patience – Some things can't be rushed

• Presence – You have to actually be here for your life

• Support – You can't do this alone (and why would you want to?)

• Faith – Trust that there's wisdom in the process

• Courage – To disappoint people who need you to stay the same

If you're stuck in the "just one more" cycle, your next step isn't to do more. It's to do less.

It's to:

• Stop

• Breathe

• Feel

• Admit what's true

• Ask for help

The journey through begins when you stop trying to journey around.

P.S. My weekend posts are inspired by conversations with my friend Kevin Kridner.